


your hand in mine

by gaybliss



Category: My Engineer (TV)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, M/M, Post-Episode 10, basically this is just ram opening up and ramking being soft for each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 16:55:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24060178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaybliss/pseuds/gaybliss
Summary: There's some moments of silence, but it's comfortable. They've shared many of them since they've got to know each other and King was thrown aback by Ram's lack of words at first, but slowly grew fond of everything Ram, including their quiet conversations and the way those allow him to look, really look at the boy and pick up the signs of how Ram is feeling.After Ram has left with his friends, King can't stop worrying about him and wondering what he was about to tell him. Will Ram open up to him? Will their bond strengthen even more?
Relationships: King/Ram (My Engineer)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 168





	your hand in mine

**Author's Note:**

> hi everyone! i started writing this kind of just to get my feelings out and i wasn't sure if i was going to finish it or post it, but here we are i guess. i think it's kind of a mess but after episode 10, i needed it. the title is from the song 'your hand in mine' by explosions in the sky. enjoy!

It was never about words, promises, conversations. It was always about unrelenting trust. The rest came slowly.

* * *

When Ram told him he was the person who understands him, King felt a hundred emotions clashing against each other inside of his heart. It was as if his ribcage was about to burst open to let every single one of them out or he wouldn't be able to survive. The only thing he could do was take a few seconds to react and respond appropriately. Unfortunately, he doesn't think he did a good job with that. He wants to believe he'd been able to control how his emotions showed on his face but realistically… he’s never been good at that when Ram is around. Before Ram, he prided himself in always managing to say the right thing at the right time. Now… all he could say to the boy who never talks being the most vulnerable he's ever been with him - and probably anyone - was "good".

_Seriously, King?!_ , he thinks to himself while looking back at the _almost_ perfect moment in his secret place. The boy he… the boy he's so fond of he would steal the moon for opened up to him and he couldn't say anything in response. He ruined everything. But then… what was Ram about to tell him at the end of the night? It looked like it was something important. Actually, no, he _knows_ it wasn't just an anecdote on his father. Ram is right, of course. King understands him and he can tell when Ram is upset. He hasn't been himself lately. He can see it in his eyes, filled with so much more worry that he has ever seen drown that beautiful brown before. His smiles have always been small and soft, now they're small and sad. His shoulders are more tense. Not to mention that Ram rarely talks unless he has something meaningful to say.

He decides to text Ram. He's worried about him and even though he's already told him, he wants to make sure Ram knows he's there for him.  
  


**from king**

_Hey there cool boy! Wanted to ask what were you about to tell me earlier?_

He stalls for a minute and then brushes his teeth while he waits for Ram to reply. _Maybe he's still with his friends_ , he thinks. He finishes up in the bathroom and goes back to his bedroom, where he picks up the phone he'd thrown on the bed and sees a new message.  
  


**from ram**

_I don't want to talk about it like this  
  
_

**from king**

_And how do you want to talk about it then? Just tell me and we can do it  
  
_

There's a minute of pause where King wonders what does Ram mean by his message. Does he want to talk in person? It isn't unlike Ram to want to be in his physical presence rather than just text, but he usually doesn't talk and if something needs to be said, he texts King and he replies out loud. So he's confused about how meeting specifically to talk would go. He's willing to figure it out though, in order to help Ram.

**  
from ram**

_I want to try and talk in person. This is important  
  
_

That scares King a little. He already knew it was important, but for some reason Ram outright telling him makes him anxious. What if something bad happened to Ram?  
  


**from king**

_Sure, tell me when and where and I'll be there  
  
_

**from ram**

_As soon as possible  
  
_

King pauses at that. Now he really is worried. He wants to talk to Ram right now. It's 11pm though and it probably wouldn't be appropriate or welcome if he just told him to meet right now. But Ram needs him and if he doesn't want to do it now, he'll just say so and they'll talk tomorrow. He makes a split second decision and types the text before he changes his mind.  
  


**from king**

_I know you just left but do you want to meet me at my place like… now? You can say no, but if you want, my secret place is your secret place too now  
  
_

"It's _our_ secret place," he whispers just above a breath. Of course, Ram can't hear him, which is probably for the best. But why does his heart ache like this then?  
  


**from ram**

_If you're sure, okay  
  
_

King's heart skips a beat. He didn't expect Ram to agree so quickly. He's glad he did though, he doesn't know if he would've been able to sleep without knowing what's bothering Ram.  
  


**from king**

_I'm 100% sure. Just text me when you're here  
  
_

King slips out of the pyjamas that he has already put on. He was comfortable in them and Ram probably wouldn't mind, but they're about to have a serious conversation so he should look at least moderately serious. When he's done getting dressed up in jeans, a t-shirt and a hoodie, he starts pacing around his bedroom, unsure of what to do with himself. Should he prepare something for him and Ram to drink? Nothing alcoholic, he's already drank a bit with their friends at the barbecue and he wants to be as clear headed as possible. He settles for some apple juice, Ram's favorite. He puts the glasses filled with the drinks on the kitchen counter and sits on the couch waiting for his friend.

* * *

After 10 minutes, King gets a text. Ram is here. He gets up and goes to open the door. Ram is standing outside, clearly anxious. Well, clearly for King, few other people would notice the subtle changes in his posture and the way his eyes sort of avoid focusing on anything for too long.

“Hey, cool boy. How is it going? Come on inside, I have apple juice ready for you and we can sit on the couch—” he stops talking when he sees Ram shake his head. “What? You don’t want to sit on the couch?”

Ram shakes his head again and then gestures towards the back of his house.

“Oh, you want to go to o—uh, the secret place?” King says and Ram nods. “Okay, let me just get the glasses of apple juice, it’s good to keep yourself hydrated if you want to talk.”

It’s weird, King thinks while they walk towards the gazebo, that they went from Ram dragging him places to him leading Ram to his secret place to, finally, them walking together. Not that they’ve never walked together before, but this time feels different. It feels more deliberate and… somewhat important. Like this is a milestone in their relationship. He doesn’t allow himself to think about it too much though, right now what matters is getting Ram comfortable enough to open up.

“Here, you can sit down on this cushion,” King tells Ram, pointing to the ground. It’s the same spot where they sat a few hours ago, when Ram poured his heart out to him.

King sits down too and they start sipping their juice in silence. King looks at Ram for a long moment, hoping he can communicate to him what he’s not saying: that Ram will be alright. He’s safe, here with him.

"You know, cool boy, it's nice to be here with you but I hope you're alright," says King, looking straight into Ram's eyes. Ram returns the gaze but doesn't give any sign of replying to his friend's subtle question. _Is_ he alright?, King wonders anxiously.

"Did you like the juice? I know apple is your favorite but I couldn't find the brand you always drink, I hope this one was a decent substitute." Ram's eyebrows shoot up at that. He nods and keeps staring at King.

There's some moments of silence, but it's comfortable. They've shared many of them since they've got to know each other and King was thrown aback by Ram's lack of words at first, but slowly grew fond of everything Ram, including their quiet conversations and the way those allow him to look, _really_ look at the boy and pick up the signs of how Ram is feeling. He doesn't know if he's like that with everyone, but there's this unexpected kind of openness about Ram when they're just sitting together and sharing looks, space, smiles, everything. Ram doesn't share words, he shares feelings, and King is drawn to that.

"So, no pressure, but whenever you're ready, I'm here to listen," says King with a serious expression on his face. He really needs Ram to feel protected in this space that's just theirs.

Another moment passes, then Ram raises his eyes that were fixed on one of King's plants. He nods and King shifts slightly, almost imperceptibly, in order to give Ram his full, undivided attention.

"My dad… I saw him… with another woman."

King sees the hurt in Ram's eyes and takes in a sharp breath, finding himself get angry for a second, because how can someone be so vile to make Ram suffer? His dad nonetheless? He regains his composure though, he needs to keep his head clear right now.

"I'm sorry, Ram," he doesn't call him by his actual name that often, but this time he really wants to communicate something, though he's not sure what himself. "That's awful, you and your family deserve better. What were they doing, if you feel okay talking about it?"

Ram swallows and looks away for a heartbeat, then fixes his stare on King again. "They were in his car and he took her to a motel."

King really does feel himself get angry at that. "Son of a—" he inhales sharply. "Ram, that must've been hard to see. What did you do? Did you tell anyone?"

Ram shakes his head. "Just you."

King feels something soften inside him. Ram trusts him completely and he won't let him down. "Do you think you should tell your mom?" 

Ram lifts his shoulders in a "I have no clue" gesture. King sighs and says, "that's a really difficult situation, but I think you should talk to your dad first. As much as I believe you and think what he's done is vile and unforgivable, there's a small chance that there's another explanation that we can't think of. So until you look him in the eyes and are 100% sure he's been a cheating bastard, you should keep a door open for the possibility that it's all a misunderstanding."

Ram nods slowly. He smiles sadly and before he can think twice, King launches forward and hugs Ram tightly. Ram's eyebrows shoot up in surprise and there's a moment of hesitation, then King can feel him relax under his embrace. He doesn't exactly reciprocate but that's okay, King knows his gesture was appreciated. Slowly, he loosens his grip on the other man and puts some space between them.

Ram is smiling in his usual, soft manner and King is overwhelmed by his affection for him. He doesn't know how, but Ram has become such a vital part of his life and happiness. King smiles back at him and while still a bit dazed by the physical contact he hears himself saying, "you're strong and you'll get through this. As I said today, you're just like a flower and if you need someone to help keep you alive, I'm always here." _I'll keep you safe_ , he wants to say, but he thinks Ram knows that's what he means.

He doesn't expect it at all when Ram lifts his arm, hesitates for a fraction of a second and then reaches for him, putting his hand on top of King's. Now it's King's turn to be taken aback. Ram moves his thumb delicately over his skin in a soothing motion and he stops thinking and just turns his hand, leaving it open for Ram, who immediately intertwines their fingers.

They stay like that for what seems like hours and it's the most peaceful either has been in a long time. King feels the same warmth he feels when he's tending to his plants. It's the same sensation as when he's home after a tiring day and he can step back from everything and think only of the calming feeling of taking care of his silent friends. Except that this is even better because yes, he's making Ram feel safe, but the opposite is also true: Ram makes him feel cared for.

As they sit in their secret place, away from everything that could hurt them, King's only thought is for Ram… the boy he loves.

**Author's Note:**

> hello! thanks for reading this whole mess of a thing! i hope you enjoyed it, please feel free to let me know what you thought of it, leave a comment, a kudos and/or come talk to me on [tumblr](https://transking.tumblr.com)!
> 
> also, i just wanted to say that ram is not valid for liking apple juice in this fic. i do not endorse apple juice consumption lmao (jk if you like apple juice ~~get well soon i guess~~ it's okay)


End file.
